Pursuing people

Assalamualaikum my dear Sister!!


Pursuing someone with the intention of marriage is not only okay, but it’s encouraged to be clear and intentional about it. The key is keeping things halal in our religion. So if your intention is sincere and you’re hoping to get to know him for something serious, there’s nothing shameful in reaching out or making dua about it. Even the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was proposed to by Khadijah (RA), so women initiating isn’t un-Islamic. What you’re doing? Making an effort, setting a time limit, and turning to Allah is actually very wise. You’re not obsessing, just opening a door and saying, “Ya Allah, if it’s good for me, make it easy. If not, remove it from my heart .”Your Intention (Niyyah) matters most.

If your intention is pure wanting to get to know him for the sake of marriage, not for casual interaction or fantasy then you’re already starting on a good path. In Islam, everything is judged by intention. You’re not seeking attention or validation, you’re seeking clarity, and you’re involving Allah. That’s a beautiful thing.

You can keep making heartfelt dua, asking Allah to guide you: “Ya Allah, if this person is good for my dunya and akhira, bring us closer in a halal way. If not, remove them from my heart and replace that space with peace and something better.” Allah always hears, and your dua will never go to waste. He either gives you what you asked for, gives you something better, or removes a harm from your path. Do istikhara…It isn’t just for when you’re about to make a decision, it can also be for clarity on whether to pursue something more seriously. You can pray two rak’ahs and ask Allah to guide you in this, whether He brings signs, feelings, or events that make the right path.


You’re not crazy, you’re a human and your heart is turning to Allah in the process, which is never a waste. Soon you will find someone you’re looking for….in Shaa Allah. 


Warm regards,
 
From your Sister in Islam,

“Fatima MV”

Salaam my sweet sister,

It is natural for you to want companionship in life. Sometimes when we see someone, the thought crosses our mind that perhaps they would be suitable for us and the lifestyle we want to live. Social media can open up a window of opportunity and give a glimpse into a person’s life. Still, it’s really important to remember that what we see on these sites is only a tiny fraction of the person’s actual life. I’m sure this brother is a wonderful individual, but we all tend to show our best selves on social media, which doesn’t give us an accurate picture of someone.

However, I do think that it was a smart thing for you to try and reach out, but to also know your limit of, “I’m not going to chase people or waste time”. This shows that you are willing to try, but also being mindful of the fact that it may not work. Your rizq, my sweet sister, is out there somewhere, and it may even be on its way to you, and you have no idea. This is the beautiful part of Allah’s decree. Every bite of food, every sip of water, every breath you take, and the people you meet and will never meet, have all been decreed by Allah before we even stepped foot on this earth, SubhanAllah! Allah Loves and Cares for you and only He truly knows what is best for you and when it is the best time for it to happen.

May Allah bless you, my sweet sister, with a beautiful marriage filled with barakah with pious children who are the coolness of your eyes here and in Jannah Firdous, ameen.


All the best,

Your Sister in Faith,

Peer Support Volunteer NL