Angry at the world and losing faith

Waalaikumussalam my dear sister,

Your pain is valid and what you’re feeling is not childish. It’s the heartache of someone who deeply craves love, connection, and recognition, especially during a time like Eid that’s meant to be warm and joyful. You’ve been holding a lot inside disappointment, resentment, sadness, loneliness, all while trying to balance gratitude and guilt. That’s heavy and it’s okay to feel all of this at once. You’re not ungrateful for acknowledging the pain. You’re human for feeling it. Sometimes when we’re emotionally hurt, especially by family, we begin to question our faith. But Allah never asks us to suppress pain. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t make you less Muslim, it makes you real. Your heartbreak is valid.


Your dad’s absence during Eid, the lack of emotional connection, the unmet needs, they’re wounds that don’t get covered up by financial support or his reputation outside the home. When your mom told you “don’t get too attached,” that must’ve hurt even more. Because you’re supposed to be able to count on your parents for emotional safety especially during sacred moments. You’re not wrong for noticing the beauty in other people’s Eid celebrations and wishing you had that. It’s not jealousy, it’s longing. A longing for what you know Eid could be.


And your relationship with Islam, that moment where you said you sometimes feel you don’t even belong, that’s deep. But I want you to know, Islam isn’t defined by your father’s behavior. Or even by how your Eid looked. Islam holds space for your anger, your grief and your doubt. You’re still Muslim, even when it’s hard. You’re still Muslim, even when you feel alone. Allah sees everything , your sadness, your loneliness, and the effort you make to stay patient and kind despite the wounds inside. You are never alone in your sadness. Even when it feels like no one at home sees your pain, your Lord sees it entirely. He is (Al-Lateef) the Most Gentle and (Al-Baseer ) the All-Seeing.


You deserve love and a joyful Eid. And while you didn’t get it at home this time, I believe you can create your own version of it  with friends, chosen family, or one day, in your own home. But right now, it’s okay to grieve what you didn’t have. I see you. You’re not alone in this. Allah sometimes gives us a chosen family when our biological one falls short. Lean into your friendships, your sisters in faith. Maybe even spend future Eids volunteering with the community or joining a local event where there is warmth and connection.


It is not petty to grieve the kind of father you wish you had. Nor is it ungrateful to feel the weight of emotional neglect, even if your education is paid for. Islam doesn’t ask us to deny pain — the Prophet (peace be upon him) himself cried, felt heartbreak, and turned to Allah in deep distress. Your emotions don’t make you any less Muslim — they make you human. Your jealousy? It’s a reaction to a wound, not a sin. And it’s beautiful that you care enough to feel guilt for not giving your friends gifts — it shows your heart is generous, even when your hands are tied.


Your mother’s words are heartbreaking, but they reflect what many women have been taught: not to expect. Yet in Islam, a man is accountable before Allah for his treatment of his family. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.” What you’re seeing in your father is not Islam. It’s the failure to live up to it. Islam is not represented by a neglectful parent. Islam is the love you crave. It’s the warmth you dream of. It’s the fairness and beauty that your heart knows should exist, so when you feel you don’t belong in Islam, know this: it’s not Islam rejecting you. It’s your pain, and that’s okay; even the strongest believers suffers. Even they cry, question, and fall, but Allah doesn’t abandon His servants. He runs to you when you walk toward Him. Keep praying, even in frustration. Keep talking to Him, even in anger. Let your pain become du’a. Let your loneliness lead you to the One who never leaves. One day, insha’Allah, you will build your own Eid traditions. You will surround yourself with people who make you feel seen and loved. And your heart will feel full again.


It’s okay to stop trying to “fix” your relationship with your father if it constantly drains or hurts you. Islamically, we are encouraged to honor parents — but that does not mean tolerating emotional neglect or abuse in silence. You can still be respectful while protecting your peace. You may not be able to change your father, but you can decide how much of your heart you give to someone who does not care.
Healing from family pain doesn’t happen all at once. Some days you’ll feel strong, others you’ll feel crushed again. That’s okay. Just take it one small step at a time. Even the tiniest steps like praying even when you don’t “feel” it count with Allah. “So verily, with hardship comes ease.”(Qur’an 94:6)

Here’s a simple plan you can adapt as needed: End your day with a 2-3 line note to Allah. Even: “Ya Rabb, today was hard. Please give me rest.” Even just reading one verse can make you feel better. 

You’re doing the best you can with what you’ve been given. You are not failing. You are surviving. You are not alone Sister.

May Allah ease your heart and struggles, aameen!! Everything will be all fine soon…In Shaa Allah!!


Warm regards,

From your Sister in Islam,

“Fatima MV”

Walaykum assalam my sweet sister,


 I hear your frustration. I want you to know that you’re not alone. Our families can be a great source of comfort and yet they can also serve as a source of pain. Over time, our relationships can become messy and complicated.

With all the challenges you are trying to navigate, you may find yourself in a whirlwind of emotions. From reading your post, I felt your frustration. I also felt hints of anger, hurt, exhaustion and even confusion. You are seeing things that don’t align, on the one hand, your father is mashallah very generous with the larger community but is less so with his family. These opposing things can cause a lot of turmoil as you recognize the critical role a father has in ensuring his family’s well-being.

You are valid in how you feel. It’s also important to remember that we cannot control the actions of others. What a person does or does not, it is not in our control, and I know this can be hard to remember. Your father, like you, is human, and now that you have grown into the young woman you are you no longer see him in the same way that you did when you were younger. It’s not easy to see our parents with a more mature perspective as we can quickly realize that they don’t always practice what they preach/ have shortcomings as well.

Try your best to navigate this relationship. You may find that you need space from time to time, and that’s okay, but don’t allow the space to become so big that it becomes impossible to cross to the other side.


I pray that Allah strengthens the bonds of your family, allowing you all to come together in a home filled with love, peace and tranquillity, living under His (SWT)’s Pleasure, ameen.


All the Best,

Your Sister in Faith,

Peer Support Volunteer NL