No way out?
Assalamu alaikum sister. Im 14 female. Im sorry if I’m bothering you by sending letters daily, if you’re bothered Please tell me so that I can stay away from asking all the time. Actually I bottle my emotions up. I got none to express it but allah Like Ibrahim [alaihi salam] . I only had a notebook and a pen so that I can write what I feel. I Once came up with a hadith that a Young man came to the prophet sallalahu alaihi wasalam and told him that his father doesn’t give him his money. The Prophet [sallalahu alaihi wasalam] called his father and asked him to tell the poems that he wrote which the angel jibreel told him to ask the old man about his poem. He recited it one of the lines are “atleast treat him [father] like a neighbor” [I think]. I too wrote what I cannot tell or express in my personal journal. I don’t know how to tell you those feeling but let me tell some of those poems so that you may know what I feel.
“We are addicted to numbers in a paper”
“In my life I had the battle of Badr and uhud. What next to come if allah wills will be victory”
“Critisizm is the most hurtful thing a parent can do to a child”
“Children’s are humiliated by their own parents”
“Is it more painful to have no one around you and you feel alone or is it more painful to have everyone around you and you still feel all alone?”
“Is there anyone to hold me in their arms like Khadija [radhiyallahu anha]?”
” ‘I do this for your own good’ can sometimes kill someone’s heart so much”
“In these times, a couple of numbers is what determines out talent”
“you just smile when your soul screams”
“The most painful experience to have is to control all the teats up even if it feels like it will burst up”
“If someone was hurt until they don’t have any tears left, thank your lord that he dissolved your grief in few drops”
“Allah can see your tears even if you’ve cried in the rain”
Whenever you ask a poor ranking student about school the first thing they’ll remember are faces frowning and screaming and sticks beating them”
HA18
Salaam my dear sister,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I can sympathize with many of them, especially the ones on criticism we face from the important adults in our lives like our teachers and parents and sometimes feeling like we have to hide our tears. You’re not alone in feeling this way. Whenever I am faced with similar situations, I am greatly saddened, become angry, and it affects my sense of self worth. I try to remember that person is reacting to just one part of me and the criticism does not define all of me. Of course I will be angry and cry but after I am done I try to learn and grow from the feedback and speak lovingly to myself. Maybe when you journal and you have let out your feelings of pain and the tears … Also write loving and positive messages to yourself and about your life. There is always darkness and at times we feel great heartbreak and pain but we have to choose to focus on the light and the gift of life Allah has given us. The pain is temporary and inshallah as we grow things getter better. Wishing you the best!
Nadia
Waalaykum Assalam dear sister,
I hope this comment finds you well. May Allah bless you with the best of this life and the next, ameen! It is hard to read through your post as I see that there are many difficulties you are facing. It can be challenging to deal with these emotions, especially with someone as young as yourself. However, I think It is great that you are journaling as this can help you get your thoughts out and not keep them bottled up inside. I would advise you as well to never give up on making dua to Allah as He is the One who knows exactly what you are going through and what you need. If you ever need a little reminder of how much you are valued by Allah here is a clip that helped me- https://www.youtube.com/shorts/m-LPmrjD6vo .