I doubt myself

I am a 11yo boy. I go to an early college school. I am in a very advanced math class and feel like i must be the best at everything. When i play soccer if i do a single thing wrong i won’t hear the end of it from myself. I usually forget to pray and will get very mad at myself but won’t fix it.I am very highly thought of because of my G.T but i feel like it pushes me very hard so i must obtain this standard and that is very hard. I am a bit overweight and i feel very bad about it. This has caused me to feel like i am the worst at everything.  Please help me with my situation.

As Salaam alaikum,
Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Raheem
It sounds like you are very studious individual and have already accomplished some great things, you should be very proud of yourself. However, through your words, I can almost feel the pressure you have on yourself. Sometimes when we have so much on our plate we are not always giving our best in one place. Perhaps you might want to talk to your parents about cutting back on something while you allow yourself to pace out. Perhaps you can take a season off soccer so that you can work on yourself by taking long walks or eating healthier and praying. If this does not seem like something that can work for you, perhaps you might want to talk to your parents about seeking out a local therapist in your area, one that you can talk about how you feel when you make those mistakes or feel overwhlened, also ways to make sure you do not burnout from all the pressure you have. We all have a desire to be the best at what we do, but what happens in stead is we tend to either give up on the task or avoid taking risks which can in turn keep us from reaching our full potential. Also it might help to look at something like soccer and play to only have fun, rather than as a highly competitive sport. It will also help to set reasonable standards for yourself, try reducing the pressures of school, enough to where you are not so overwhelmed. Its great that you are in an early college school but do it for you and not because of external pressure. Also it will be very helpful to work on the negative thoughts that creep int your mind. What I like to say “Don’t feed the ANTs”. ANTs stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts, such as “all or nothing”, “focus on the negative”, “feeling guilty”. Try to figure out what your ANT is and find a solution that can help you overcome the thought. For example if we focus on the negative all the time, the solution would be to focus on one positive aspect of the situation. Also ask yourself, was that mistake in soccer detrimental? If its not, don’t feed that ANT, remind yourself it is ok to make mistakes. Lastly, make time to sit and talk to Allah. Make Allah your best friend and talk to Him about what is going on in your life, Allah tells us in Surah 40 Ayat 60 “Call upon Me; I will respond to you.” He will be your best guide in all of this.

And Allah knows best.
I pray you find peace and joy in all that you do

Sincerely,

Your sister in Islam

“Fatima SD”