I’m a Convert from the Bible Belt

12, male, my parents are Christians, I’ve been atheist for the majority of my life, I was in a dark state when I found Islam and after I started learning more about it I found that it’s teachings really connected with me.

My parents aren’t accepting my religion and I need to know what to say to them. For example they deleted my Quran app, they force me to eat haram food, etc.

Assalaamu Alaikum Brother, 

I am so glad you reached out to us. I cannot tell you how touching it is to hear about your struggles at such a young age. Converting to Islam is not only difficult for the individual but can place a strain on their entire family. As you go through this transition period, always remember that Allah is the Most Merciful and that Islam encourages maintaining family relationships. At this age when you are entirely dependent on your family your situation will be a bit different from converts who are more independent from their families. It sounds like your parents are having a difficult time accepting your decision to become Muslim. So your best approach may not be to argue with them or to convince them otherwise. Perhaps, and Allah knows best, your best approach involves maintaining peaceful relationships with your family by practicing when you are best able and avoiding that which angers them. Your story reminds me of the struggles of the early Muslims (Sahaba) who faced similar difficulties with their own families. Reading stories about the Sahabah may give you encouragement, strength of heart and peace of mind. 

May Allah reward all of your efforts to please Him and to be a practicing Muslim. However, if your parents are making it difficult/impossible for you to do so remember that Allah knows your intentions and will reward you for them. If you cannot avoid certain deeds with your actions or speak against them with your words, then at the least Allah tells us to dislike the deeds with our hearts. For example, if your parents are forcing you to eat foods that are forbidden, I would either remind them gently that you no longer eat these foods, or say you simply feel like eating something else. But if neither approaches work and you’re being forced against your will to do something that is forbidden in Islam try to do the following: 1. dislike the deed in your heart, 2. ask Allah for forgiveness, 3. make intention that you will avoid such foods when you are more independent and capable to do so, 4. make dua that Allah puts mercy in your parents heart and helps them accept your choice to become Muslim, 5. Make even more dua that Allah gives you the strength to maintain your conviction in Islam under such difficult circumstances and most importantly helps you find friends or a community that can serve as a support system to you. Also remember, that whether our parents/family are Muslim or not, Allah commands us to always be gentle, kind and respectful towards them in the best way that is possible. 

Your Sister in Islam, 

Fatima V 

Afshana Haque, PhD, LMFT-S