Falling Intensely

Deaar Fatima

I am a 21 year old girl struggling heavily with depression. I cannot understand myself, stand myself, take care of myself or anything. Because I am going to be a senior and need to graduate I had to take classes this summer. It has now taken a heavy toll on my mental health. I don’t eat all day sometimes because I am so depressed. This means that I have no energy to pray either and forget fasting because my class is so difficult that I need at least the bare minimum energy I can get from perhaps snacking here and there as needed to survive. I know it sounds like so many excuses here but I am so God concious through it all. I just can’t find it in myself to get back up anymore. I feel so paralyzed. How can I get through this Ramadan, my class, take care of myself, and pray regularly all at the same time when some days it takes everything for me to get out of bed or just go to class?

Please help me, I feel like a terrible person and I don’t want to be thrown in hell for this

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Salaams

I am sorry you are going through this very difficult time. I think first I would recommend you see a professional in your area that can help you one on one face to face. There is no denying that those who suffer from severe depression are ill. Depression can be debilitating and, in some cases, deadly. Physical symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, fatigue, chronic pain, diarrhea, insomnia etc. are common concomitants to major depression. “Treatment,” to use the medical terminology, is demanded. For many, Ramadan poses the challenge of the inability to take medications during the day, dehydration and other somatic changes that necessitate dosing modification changes. Making a unilateral decision to fast, without doctor approval is irresponsible and religiously unacceptable. Medicine and healing are Islamic functions. There is no shame or sin in not fasting due to medical prohibition. Allah, the Al-Mighty, Knows His creation best and it is He who said:

“Ramadan is the (month) in which was sent down the Qur’an, as a guide to mankind, also clear (Signs) for guidance and judgment (Between right and wrong). So every one of you who is present (at his home) during that month should spend it in fasting, but if anyone is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed period (Should be made up) by days later. Allah intends every facility for you; He does not want to put to difficulties. (He wants you) to complete the prescribed period, and to glorify Him in that He has guided you; and perchance ye shall be grateful.” Al-Baqarah 2:185

Taking proper care of one’s health is considered by the Prophet Muhammad to be the right of the body.

If after talking to a professional and getting the appropriate treatment plan for depression, fasting is not an option for you, perhaps then you can work on your relationship with Allah. A few things you can do while not fasting is “fast” in between doses, keep yourself hydrated and fed, but fast from negative thoughts and actions, fast from things that take you away from the deen. Do extra salats, read the quran and do dhikr. Participate in helping others, feeding the hungry, or volunteering at your local masjid. Take it all one day at a time, focus on your mental and physical health first, and then school Try to get your fard salats in, and then see if you have time and or energy to do more. Take it slow. It is ok to set boundaries.

I pray that Allah gives you strength and that your ailment is cause of your admission to Allah;s mercy and eternal Jannah. I pray Allah, the All Mighty to strengthen you and honor and grant you patience.

Sincerely

Your sister in Islam,

“Fatima X”