I am the cause of my own demise

I am the cause of my own demise

If you really knew me you’d know I did this all to myself. I ruined myself and gave into temptation and  cannot stop. I look for any chance possible to do it and without thought. I am lost.

8 thoughts on “I am the cause of my own demise”

  1. The Olive Tree

    Dear Brother or Sister,

    Giving into temptation and not being able to stop is not the problem. To sin is human. If we did not sin then Allah would remove us from this earth and replace us with people who would sin. This does not mean that we should relax our efforts to get close to Allah. We have to keep striving and have perseverance on the path of Allah. Not repenting , not asking for forgiveness from Allah, loosing hope in Allah is the problem. As long as you are alive you have the opportunity to turn to Allah.

    Sincerely,
    Your brother in Islam

  2. The Olive Tree

    Dear Brother or Sister,

    Asalamoalaikum. No matter how deep the depth of your demise, Allah can forgive you and purify you. He is Ar-Rahman and Ar-Raheem. The Most Gracious , The Most Merciful.

  3. Anonymous

    Assalam o Alaikum to the brother or sister who wrote this post. I would like to start by congratulating you for having the courage to come forward and ask for help. It is Allas SWT mercy on you that your conscience is still alive. You are able to recognize that you are on the wrong path.
    You should remember that Allah SWT is extremely merciful. He says that He SWT will forgive his slave’s sins even if they are so numerous as to fill the space between earth and sky. All one has to do is ask for forgiveness and repent from the bottom of our hearts. We have to make an intention that we will not repeat the sin, but if God forbid we end up committing the sin, then we need to go back and ask for forgiveness. Each time one commits s sin he/she should make ablution and pray two rakah salat for forgiveness of that sin. If we truly repent Allah SWT out of His mercy will turn that sin into a good deed. So the take home point is, that you never lose hope. Allah SWT is for his slave whatever the slave expects him to be. Therefore always have good expectations from your creator.
    As far as your habit is concerned, you will have to start with sincere repentance and with the firm intention that you will not commit adultery again. Prophet SAW is quoted to have said that when a Muslim commits a major sin, during that time he is out of the folds of Islam. It is a scary thought because if you die committing a major sin then you will be raised on the day of the judgment doing the same. Not something a Muslim wants for sure.
    You will have to start by changing the circle of you friends who promote this type of behavior. Give up places where you would be encouraged to engage or would even get close to a situation where you are at risk of falling back into the haram lifestyle. Avoid being alone and find company of people who bring you close to Allah SWT. Learn about your Deen as much as you can by reading more about it, but also sitting in Hslaqas where it is taught. Be mindful of your thoughts as that is where the problem starts. Pray five times a day and fulfill all of your other obligations to Allah SWT.
    If you can afford to get married, do so as it is a protection against Zina. If you cannot do so then fast as much as you can as it is suggested by our beloved Prophet SAW as a protection against Zina. Do not tell others about your sin as it remains between you and Allah SWT as long as you don’t tell any one else about it. Just ask Allah SWT for forgiveness and guidance, knowing and believing that He will forgive you.
    Alhamdolillah you have come to this realization during Ramadan. We are entering the last ten days of this great months and as you know lailatul Qadr is hidden in these ten days. I would highly recommend that you pray every night and ask Allah SWT for forgiveness and guidance. I firmly believe that if you do so sincerely, Allah SWT will forgive you and guide you. I would recommend performing Umrah or Hajj as soon as you can. I would also suggest you start working with a therapist (Muslim if possible) to work on the issues that have led you to this lifestyle.
    I hope this is helpful. I pray to Allah SWT that He has Mercy on you, me and everyone else involved in this wonderful organization Ameen
    Wassalam.
    Sincerely,
    Your brother in Islam,
    Fatima “S”

  4. Anonymous

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  5. Anonymous

    Assalamualikum,

    You are not the only one who is struggling through this. I know at times it may feel as if you are alone, but there is always someone to turn to. You may not even know it, but Allah is always listening, you just have to talk to Him. I would advise you to start praying, you are closest to your Creator when you are in Sujood (prostration), you are allowed to feel sad and you are allowed to cry. You can let all of it out. I have made some very huge mistakes in the past, and only recently have I realized how much I gave into those temptations. It is a horrible way to feel, but I got up and I prayed 2 nafls, and I just cried and cried and asked for forgiveness. I felt like a burden had been lifted off of my soul. Never lose hope in yourself, Allah always forgives he is Ar-Rahman. Say: “My servants, you who have transgressed against yourselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Truly Allah forgives all wrong actions. He is the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.”
    The Holy Quran 39:53
    You will always find your way, because once you realize you have sinned, and you repent, you will find your way back to the straight path inshaAllah. You will be in my duas.
    Sincerely,
    Your Sister in Islam

  6. Anonymous

    Each one of us is struggling and being tested in our own ways, but not all of us have the courage to ask for help. You have made your first step in the right direction, ones you have truly asked for forgiveness, know that Allah has forgiven you. Then its time to move on and work on improving yourself one step at a time.

  7. Anonymous

    I don’t have much to add to what Fatima said other than the fact that Allah is the most forgiving. Whatever mistakes you have done in the past are done. As long as you are actively trying to better yourself, Allah will give you a clean slate Insha’Allah. Whatever is causing your temptations, cut them off one by one. It is really hard I know, but once you do if you will feel so much better about yourself. I can say this on a personal level.

  8. fhusain1

    Assalaamu Alaikum,

    You are not alone. And you are definitely not the first. If you think about it, many of the revelation given to the Prophet (s) occurred as incidences happened. And there are many revelations about zinna or sexual activity outside of marriage. So yes, even at the time of the prophet and amongst the sahabi this occurred. Unfortunately, with easy access to the internet and other things, viewing pornography in this day and age has also become epidemic. It is not something someone can get over by themselves as it is an addiction like any other addiction to drugs, alcohol, or gambling. Anyways, do not despair the Rahma of Allah. Your capacity to sin is not greater than His capacity to forgive. It all starts with the intention to stop, turning your heart towards Allah and asking for help. When you walk towards Allah, He runs to you. Spiraling into a depression alone weather it was before or after the temptation, is helpful to nobody. If you are having any thoughts of suicide or hurting yourself please reach out to someone for help. (National suicide prevention hotline available 24/7: 1-800-273-8255)

    Sincerely,
    Your sister in Islam,
    Fatima “V”