Unibrows on Men
I am an 18-year-old Iranian girl. This is a trivial matter, but I really do not like unibrows on men. My mother told me that no religious, Iranian man would ever remove his unibrow, but I don’t understand why. I know that different cultures have different customs, but why is it associated with religiosity? Did the Prophet Mohammad have a unibrow? From my knowledge, Muslim men are permitted to remove hairs between their eyebrows. I am not a person to care about a person’s outward appearance very much, but removing unibrows is just like personal grooming to me. I sometimes worry that in the future that one of my suitors will have a unibrow, and I won’t know how to tell him to remove it without sounding judgemental and hurting his feelings. I wonder if it is even appropriate for a Muslim girl to say something like that to a man before they are engaged.
Assalamu ‘alaykum,
I am not able to answer religious questions so I really don’t know if unibrows cannot be removed.
However, I think your real concern is about how do you communicate with potential suitors about your preferences so that you feel like you will be happy in your marriage. Many things in marriage are left to husbands and wives to figure out together.
I think it’s usually a good idea for young people to sit with their parents and talk about things so that they are clearer about expectations. Some good questions to ask are:
1) How do you think the process of finding someone for me should go?
2) What are the most important qualities you look for in a potential husband/wife for me?
3) What are the things you would NOT like to see in a potential spouse for me?
4) How would you want me to handle a situation where I meet someone that I like and want to consider?
5) How would you want me to handle a situation where I don’t like something about a suitor?
6) How will we communicate about suitors so that we can make the decision together?
I hope this gives you some place to start the conversation.
Wa ‘ alaykum salaam,
Your sister in Islam,
“Fatima Z”
HA18
Salaam sister,
I am also Iranian, and in that general region of the world, there are plenty of men and women who have unibrows. I am also not sure what the religious ruling on removing your unibrow hair is. I do know that in Iran, they have male grooming salons where they have eyebrow removing services so it would seem to some extent that the government there allows it.
I really like Fatima’s advice and how she is providing you with some questions that will help you decide what your expectations are. You don’t have to make a choice to marry someone based on a religious ruling, if unibrows are not your thing right now, then that is your right to have that as your preference. People have various preferences like body type, color eyes, hair, etc. None of those have to do with religious rulings, but they are something that is important to that person. The Qu’ran or Hadiths do not demand us to find a spouse with brown eyes or blonde hair. All of that is up to you.
Setting up these expectations, however, does not mean you are absolutely SET on those guidelines. You may dislike unibrows now, but 5 years down the road you won’t even care about them. Or you may dislike them, but end up meeting someone who has one but you find yourself willing to look past it. Being flexible to things that matter more is important. But it is up to you to decide what things matter, what things matter a lot, what things don’t matter too much.
In addition to thinking of your expectations and answering the questions Fatima provided, you can set up an exercise for yourself where you prioritize those expectations. For example, “being religious” might be a first priority, “having a six pack” might be a third priority. This way you are being fair to yourself and saying that if he doesn’t have a six pack but is religious, I can overlook the six pack. 🙂