Dating and Homosexuality

Dear Fatima,

As a Muslim, I was approached by my friends on why Muslims can’t date and Homosexuality in Islam. This was difficult to explain because there is this really popular girl at my school who is Hijabi yet she is dating a non-muslim guy. And not even limited contact, she and her boyfriend hold hands and make-out in the halls so I feel my friends are getting a distorted perception of Islam. How do I explain to my friends politely that the girl’s actions, even though she is Hijabi, are not allowed in my religion.

Also, my friends asked me about Homosexuality. Now, none of us are, but I don’t know how to explain Islam and Homosexuality to them without making Islam come off as a extremely strict and authoritative religion. They ask me “Shouldn’t you be allowed to love whoever you want?” or “What if you are born with it?”. I don’t know if it is even possible to be born with Homosexuality! How do I explain these two tough concepts to them?

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Assalamu ‘alaykum, 

Both of these questions (especially given the situation you describe of the popular girl who happens to be hijabi) give you an opportunity to give people a look into Islam as a whole – something far beyond the specific question.

In other words, Islam looks at a person as a person who has strengths and challenges. We are by our very nature imperfect. Therefore, there are going to be things that we have a hard time with, and there are things that are going to come to us easily. And ALL of us struggle with something. Recognizing that will allow us to have a softer heart when we are trying to give advice or answer questions that people have.

In both the situations the behaviors are (according to the majority of scholars) not okay for people to be a part of but that as a fellow Muslim and fellow human it’s not our place to pass judgement on others. So, we can encourage people to do things that are better, and to follow the rules laid out for believers in Islam, but we can’t really make people do something or avoid something. In addition, as long as Allah (swt) has blessed us with life, Allah (swt) has also blessed us with the ability to change. That means that whatever people are doing (visible or invisible) that is not quite where it needs to be, people can always repent and live different lives.

If you take a look at the other posts on these topics you might find some additional references to Qur’an or hadeeth about the topics you asked about.

Wa ‘alaykum salam, 

Your sister in Islam
“Fatima Z”

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Note from Stones to Bridges Admin – You may find the following posts and comments on our website beneficial:

Against Nature

 Gay Muslims – the Elephant in the (Prayer) Room

You may also find it beneficial to click on the tags at the top of this post for other current posts or articles on our site related to this topic.