Doubts

Hi, I am an 18-year-old girl. I have a lot of doubts during wuzu and prayers. I always think that I broke my wuzu because sounds come from my stomach or from my bottom, but I’m not sure if I released wind. I know that I shouldn’t pay attention to these doubts, but they seem so real. Sometimes, I actually most likely did  made a mistake during prayer, but I am not a 100% sure. I think that maybe I actually did do something wrong, and I am acting like I never did just because I’m lazy to repeat the prayer. Also, I don’t feel that much of a connection during prayer.

Assalamu ‘alaykum, 

Doubts are a thing that lots of people struggle with – there are actually fiqh (Islamic law) rulings about when a doubt means you need to repeat a prayer or if it was a small enough doubt that you do not. There are also lots of rulings about how to make up for making a mistake in prayer (some require an extra sajdah at the end, and others require you make up the prayer). The descriptions around each of these rulings are quite detailed and can be found in most classes about fiqh of purification or fiqh of prayer. 

There are also ways to work on being more aware of what you are doing.

For example you mention that you don’t feel a connection during prayer; perhaps you also don’t feel a connection during wudhu.

So building a greater understanding of what the actions mean or a deeper knowledge of who Allah is and why Allah is worthy of worship might help make the physical actions of wudhu and prayer more meaningful. Also learning the meaning of the different things you say during prayer helps make the words have a deeper impact on your heart.

There are also exercises used by counselors to teach “mindfulness”.

One exercise is to take a small piece of food (like a raisin) and put it in your mouth or in your hand. You then hold it there and try to feel its shape, its texture, how it moves, etc. Another exercise would be to sit outdoors and breathe deeply and slowly with your eyes closed. As you sit there, you might “tune in” to different senses – so what do you hear? what do you feel? what do you smell? etc. These things are skills so, for example, you might set a timer and do an exercise for a short period of time (1-2 mins) and then keep increasing the time slowly so that you can carry the skill of being more aware or mindful of your every day actions whenever you’d like.

Many of us struggle with being disconnected these days – especially when we distract ourselves with our phones and computers. So taking the time to do these exercises and slowing down the process of making wudhu and/or prayer so that you are more aware of what you are doing is a great way to keep yourself from being disconnected from the pieces of life that make life worth living.

wa ‘alaykum salam,

Sincerely,

Your sister in Islam,

“Fatima Z”