Fake
I am a 17 year old girl. I have problems with concentration on studies. I have not managed to sit through a full 3 hour practice ACT exam even once. The one time I did I drank coffee before taking it. I have taken the real ACT exam twice. The first time I messed up on because I really could not concentrate, I had hardly slept. The second one, I had had enough sleep and more practice. On the first part of the exam, I did great. I got a 32 on English and a 27 on Math. On the second part, I got a 18 and 19 for Reading and Science because I chose random answers. My brain could not concentrate anymore. I told my father yesterday that I am taking the exam again, but lied that I didn’t know the grade and that my counselor had told me that it was better to take it again. Do I have to tell him the truth even though the grade won’t matter since I’m taking the test again? Will Allah accept? I took another practice exam yesterday and lied about finishing it, I ended up copying answers from the end of the test because I was too tried. Also, I went on the Internet and social media, something I usually end up doing when I can’t concentrate, which distracts me more. People at school think I am such a good girl because of the things I say. I do believe in the talks I give, but I can’t seem to act on them or care enough. I feel fake and that I am a lier.
Assalamu ‘ alaykum,
From what you are describing you may have some sort of underlying challenge the keeps you from being able to concentrate. Have you ever been tested for a learning disability or attention deficit disorder?
It seems as if you know the material and that you do well when you are able to focus. Sometimes test takers with a documented disability are given permission to take an exam with breaks or without a timer.
If you haven’t been tested then you might want to talk to your school counselor about what you are experiencing and see if she thinks a test should be done. In some schools the school psychologist does that kind of testing for students at no or reduced cost.
It will take some bravery to admit to those closest to you that you are having trouble concentrating. Some of them may not fully understand what that means. However, if you are able to be brave and talk to someone about it they may be able to help you get the support you need so that this challenge doesn’t stand in the way of your success.
Wa ‘ alaykum salaam,
Sincerely,
Your sister in Islam,
“Fatima Z”
As salaamu alaykum
I don’t know that there is a definitive answer to whether or not you have to tell your father that you did know the grade. You can make istighfar; ask Allah for forgiveness and make the intention to be truthful in the future. More than doing it for the sake of avoiding punishment or your actions not being accepted, perhaps you can reflect on how it feels internally for you when you do things that are not honest or not inline with what you feel to be the truth. The real issue is in being right in yourself and being truthful with yourself so that you are in line with what Allah already knows. The Truth is known by Allah, your goal is to not cover over the truth.
It sounds like in general you feel uneasy when you are not totally honest or when what you know inside is not congruent with what you project on the outside. The reason this doesn’t feel right to you is because you have a conscience; you are aware of what is right and what is not right. This is a blessing. Try to allow yourself to be more conscious of making an effort to make your actions fall inline with your internal sense of what is right. I think you will find that it just feels better. It’s a challenge and it is part of learning and growing and being human. Don’t expect yourself to always be able to do what is right. But the important thing is that you try to adjust yourself along the way to tend toward what you know in your heart is right. This way you will train yourself to feel more comfortable standing in your truth and standing in objective truth. From what you’ve written it seems like you are uncomfortable with not being real with yourself and others. Ask yourself what benefit you gain from not revealing the truth in certain instances. Then you can weigh out for yourself whether it is worth it. You may find that whatever you were afraid of which lead you to cover over the truth is actually dissipated or balanced out by the resolve and strength you feel in standing in the truth and choosing to do what you feel is right. Often when you act with the right intention obstacles are removed for you.
Your brother in Islam,
“Fatima Y”
