Why..how..

Dear Fatima,

Why do you think men rape and how do you even get over being raped

As salaam Alaikum,

I really hope I do my best to answer these very important and sensitive questions.

I’d first like to make this resource available to you if you or someone you know have been a victim of rape. I will add more to the end of my reply. RAINN is the Nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (1.800.656.HOPE & online.rainn.org), and publicizes the hotline’s free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual violence; and leads national efforts to prevent sexual violence, improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice.

 Its important to note that not only men rape, men are also victims of rape. Why someone commits rape is not an easy question to answer. The person could be suffering from psychological disorders or may have been under the influence – of course none of these reasons excuse the act. Though it may seem like it will help in the healing process understanding why one would do such a thing may only take one in circles. I believe its important for the victim to seek help and begin their healing process. Rape and sexual assault often leave victims feeling scared, humiliated, confused and alone. If you have been or know someone who has been raped it is important to make sure they are in a safe space. It is also important to do the following:

1. Report the crime to law enforcements immediately 
2. Seek medical care as soon as possible
3. Recognize this is not your fault and that healing will take time – thus finding help is very important. 

After one goes through such a horrendous experience it may be very difficult for some time. Shame, depression, anxiety and fear are all things that one can feel for sometime after the attack. Its important to remember that it takes time to heal and that you don’t need to do it alone. It is also important to remember that this is not your fault. Self-blame is common, but the only person to blame is the person who committed the rape. The victims emotions maybe all over the place and they may not even understand where to begin.

• They should take it one day at a time.
• I highly encourage a victim to seek therapy in their area so that the qualified therapist can help guide them through the process of healing.
• I also suggest for the victim to join a support group, it can be very comforting to be around people who are going through the same thing you are.
• Lastly, I encourage prayer. Talking to Allah in any form can bring some peace to ones mind and heart.
• Engage in meditation and exercise. Sometimes keeping your body busy producing happy feelings will help one heal. 

 Rape Abuse & Incest National Network:

• 1 (800) 656-HOPE 
• 1 (800) 656-(4673) 
• http://www.rainn.org/

National Sexual Violence Resource Center:

• http://www.nsvrc.org/
• http://helpguide.org/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

• 1 (800) 273-TALK
• 1 (800) 273-(8255)
• http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 

Sincerely,

Your sister in Islam,

“Fatima SD”