Men
I need to stop being so suspicious of men in my assumptions that they’re going to hurt me. In my eyes, any man has the potential to be abusive, even the ones I trust wholeheartedly. I see it as only a matter of time before they snap, before they assault me, which makes me ache to completely avoid any interaction with males entirely.
But how do I know that “not every guy” is going to assault me like some of them did? How can I trust men when they were the source of my pain?
It fills me with rage just thinking about it. It’s exhausting. I want to be okay, I just don’t know how to be. I am the farthest thing from ‘okay’.
I wish I could love more than I do. I wish a guy could smile at me without me scowling back at him. I wish I could be softer than I am. I wish I knew how to love.
sa.auror
Salam, I can relate to your words and I’ve had my own struggles with that. I’ve come to realize that Allah SWT has put me through certain things in my life for a reason. I’ve been abused for a reason. I know that’s hard to fathom but Allah knows best. I know what it’s like to see men that way and be that hopeless in them. But in the end of the day, just try to remind yourself that whatever happens to you, Allah has a plan for it and would never ever ever put you through something that you cannot handle. Of course we are to do our part as well such as what the person before me mentioned. Try to pray to see everyone with a fresh view as hard as that may be. And inshaAllah you will be helped through these tough feelings and thoughts that you cannot help but feel and think. Continue to tell yourself throughout the day that Allah is the most Just and there will be justice to what happened to you and other people. If not in this life, then in the aakhira. You’re a beautiful soul 🙂
sophxiuhhh
I am really sad to hear that your have been assaulted. I have been violated and assaulted in the past, as well. But I have also been highly respected and treated with such care that I now know the difference between what kind of men I am dealing with. I think that maybe sometimes when girls allow a male to spend time alone with them, that may lead to being assaulted, because i have, for the most part, never heard of anyone being assaulted while surrounded by other people. As long as you intend to have a soft heart, I am sure it will happen. I actually don’t think it is bad, though, that you are cautious. I think it is great! Really. But of course some guys may take advantage of someone they feel is being friendly. In my own opinion, I think you may want to avoid being alone with men. Hanging out in a group sounds safer to me anyways. There is also this quote that I always remember, “Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them.” This is just my thoughts.