The United States

Dear Fatima,

I’m currently a  17-year-old senior girl in high school. I will be going to university in New York soon inshallah. The problem I am facing is that my father’s job may come to an end in two years and we’ll have to move back to my parents’ home country. I have lived in the U.S. almost my whole life so I do not want to move back. What should I do? Should I find a Muslim man who is also a U.S. citizen to marry while I attend college? And what dua can guarantee that I stay?

===================================

As Salaam Alaikum, 
I’m sorry you are in a bind.  I’m sure you’re parents’ decision to move home comes from a long decision making process, one that I’m sure they took you’re happiness and future into consideration. I would highly discourage getting married just to stay in the USA. Marriage is a very serious deal and to marry for personal gain to attend school here would only be unfair to who you marry and your own future.  I suggest you talk to your parents about staying here to go to school. Many colleges across the country have dorms for girls only and you can even ask to be dormed with specific people (like other muslim girls). You can contact the MSA to find out where other Muslim girls are staying,  this might help your parents understand thay you are serious enough to stay by the research you’ve done and also can provide ease for knowing you will be safe. Talk to your parents and if that’s not possible,  talk to an aunt/uncle or other close friends/relatives that can help you.   
Allah has a plan for all of us and sometimes it’s not easy to see the divine wisdom in what comes our way,  but in time you’ll look back and say Alhumdullilah.  
Good luck,  you’re in my duas

Sincerely
Your Sister in Islam,
“Fatima SD”

==================================

As salaamu alaykum 

A whole lot can change in two years. I understand that it is scary to think about moving away from the life that you know and are comfortable with, but the reality is that the future is unknown. You really can’t make decisions in your life now based on what may or may not happen two years from now. Insha’allah something will change with your father’s work situation which will enable you to stay, if that is what Allah wants. And if that is not what Allah wants, then you can work on letting go of your attachments to what you think is best and try to embrace the fact that Allah knows what’s best.

In the meantime, I would suggest focusing on what is ahead of you. Masha’allah, that is great that you are going to university in New York. Studying in college is a great experience and one that usually opens up many new doors and different ways of thinking. It’s a blessing that you have the time that you have now and the opportunity that you have now to go to college. That is what is happening right now. Try to stay present with the current situation and be here now. From this place you will be better able to make good choices and respond to what comes with clarity.

Marriage is a huge commitment that requires a great deal of intentionality and work on your self. It is not something to enter into for a means to an end. It is part of a long journey of self discovery and it is a sacred union under Allah. If you treat is with respect and save it for the right time it can bring many blessings. However if you approach it hastily and enter into for ulterior motives, such as citizenship or financial stability, it can bring with it a whole host of other problems that you did not intend or foresee. 

Even if there were a dua that you could say that would make you stay, I would say that it would be a bad idea to recite such a dua. How do you know that staying is what is best for you in the long run? Allah is the one who will ultimately determine what He wants for you. If you ask Him for something else, He may give it to you, but will it be good for you? Dua is indeed powerful, but you have to be careful to use that power wisely. I would recommend making dua that you are guided toward the circumstances that will be the best for you. You can even make dua that your father gets what is best for him and that he has what he needs to provide in the right way for your family. You can make dua that you and your family are protected from harm and that you are given good in this life and in this time. Insha’allah whatever happens will be what is best for you. Sometimes it is difficult to see the good in what comes, but ultimately you need to try and have faith that Allah is the one who makes the plans and He knows what is best.

I wish you and your family all the best and I pray that your college experience is an enriching one that opens many doors of opportunity for you and your future. Amin.

Your brother in Islam,

“Fatima AR”