Seeking Light at Times of Darkness
Dear Fatima,
I am a 17 year old girl and I have requested stones to bridges to help me connect to a counselor/therapist many times but no one is responding. Â All of the lights are starting to dim and I don’t know where to turn to for help. As much as I try, the Quran and salah are not keeping me going. I have issues concerning self-esteem and anxiety and I could really use advice on maintaining friendships as well. Fatima, please help me connect to someone.
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Dear Seeking Light at Times of Darkness,
I sincerely apologize for making you feel like your voice wasn’t being heard. It was not intentional and all of us here at Stones to Bridges sincerely want to help! It sounds like you are going through some very troubling issues, and of course, not getting help or someone to listen to can just make everything worse. You matter and I will try to help you as much as I can with this response.
You mentioned that you have tried the Qur’an and salaah without much luck, and you don’t know where to turn. First, keep going. Every day is a new day, and every time you pray is a new time that you are opening up to Allah. He Hears you, and even now when you may feel like He doesn’t–He does. He brought you to Stones To Bridges, right? Keep going..Second, try to think again about anyone in your life that you can turn to. It may not be someone who you will understand you 100% but even someone who will at least listen, can be very helpful to you. If you are in high school, could you maybe talk to your school counselor? And if you are in college, the counseling center may be a good place to check out? Third, keep yourself active. Do things to help ease your anxiety. Everyone lets out their stress in different ways. Some people draw, others write or go running or cook 🙂 What is your way to de-stress? Try doing that every day, or when you are really feeling down, until you get to a therapist (and still do it afterwards too!).
As for seeing a counselor: We have received your most recent request for being connected with a counselor. We have tried calling multiple times today and even left voice mails, but we haven’t heard back. Maybe the number you indicated on the form was wrong? Can you fill out a new form and make sure your number is correct and/or provide an email so we have a way to contact you?
While you are waiting to connect with us, you can try to find counselors using the following links:
http://projectsakinah.org/directory
http://mentalhealth4muslims.com/mental-health-directory/#&panel1-3&panel1-1You can use both of these links to try to find some counselors in your area. Also, feelings of sadness and anxiety can go up and down like the waves. Some moments may feel worse than others. In those moments, if you really need to talk to someone, you can also call the depression hotline: Crisis Help Line: (972) 233-2233 OR the Teen Help Line: (972) 233-8336, or Depression hotline: 1-888-771-5166.
Again, we are sorry that we were not able to respond sooner. We hope to hear back from you soon whether through phone or email so that we can get you connected to a counselor asap.
Hope to hear from you and wish you well,
Sincerely,Your Sister in Islam
“Fatima T”
Anonymous
My anxiety triggers from my family and my social skills. I have a very unsupporting family and they rarely see my viewpoint in the face of any conflict. They like to believe that I am the one who has wronged others and that I am not worthy of talking to. I don’t have someone who can even “listen” to me
Anonymous
Sometimes we focus on those who aren’t listening for so long that we become blind to the people are there to listen. I can understand how painful it is when you’re own family is ignorant to your feeling but I hope you can feel a little comforted in knowing- that struggle is very common. There comes a time in every teenager’s life where their own house becomes an obstacle. It happens because where your family members are at that point of time, they have their own struggles which makes them unable to understand you.
Anxiety often occurs when we allow our mind to go wild with thoughts that “that happened to me” (past) or “this could happen, that could happen” (future) …we fall short in living in the moment. I recently heard Oprah say “I live in the moment. I focus where I am and only where I am- not allowing the past or future to effect the decision I am making now”.
Take baby steps…find yourself, give yourself time and priority. It’s going to sound so impossible to do but trust me, when you stop allowing the behavior of others to determine how you feel, you set yourself free.
You are absolutely worth talking to. That’s why I’m here responding. So just like you have us here at Stones To Bridges, you probably have a lot more people you didn’t expect to be able to hear you out. Don’t convince yourself otherwise. Don’t belittle yourself – your family doesn’t understand you at the moment and maybe you don’t understand them. It’s a part of growing up we have all been through. Take my word on it…it is what helps you grow, mature and become who you are meant to be.
Best Wishes.
Anonymous
Sweetheart,
Where does your anxiety trigger from? Give us some insight on your struggles so we can give you specific advice. Sometimes what you feel may seem like an isolated situation but I’ve learnt when you open up and share your experience….its surprising how many people also feel the same.
We are here for you. The lights are not dimming….they are fighting to shine brighter. That’s why you are trying to resolve your situation. And insha Allah you will.
Best wishes