Online talking

Salams sister,
About a year ago, I met a convert brother online and have been talking to him for a couple of months since then. I’m sure it was haram and I don’t do so now but at the time I was very attracted to his personality and his connection with the deen which made me love him even more for that. From some of what he has told me, he’s been having a lot of trouble in his daily life and told me to pray for him. Due to me being worried for him, I would check up on his profile almost everyday to see how things where going with him (sort of stalking) out of concern. We stopped talking for a while since then and he deleted his account later on. I was very saddened that he deleted his account since that was the only way of me communicating and checking up on him. Months go by and I randomly find him on Facebook which brought me joy. I never sent a friend request because I knew talking to him was haram and I didn’t want to take part in that but occasionally I do find myself going on his page many times just reading his posts making sure he is still on the deen and is doing well. I have tried to stop going in his page many times only to find myself on it once again. I guess what I want to ask is, is it haram to go on a brothers profile like that and I know as Muslims we cannot partake in any dating ext so do you have any advice for my situation?
Please get back to me inshallah

Assalamu ‘alaykum,
I think what’s difficult for me to figure out is if you are asking what’s haram or what’s healthy.
I’m sure many people have rulings about whether talking to someone of the other gender is acceptable or not, and it boils down to which interpretation you follow. So whatever the situation, I would check the webpage of the scholar you trust the most to find what he/she says about that.
What I am seeing though is that you invested a lot of time, energy, and emotion into building an online friendship with this brother.
You were feeling attracted to him and even say that you love(d) him.
As soon as you start feeling drawn to someone, there is always a possibility that you will share more with him or ask him to share with you things that you normally wouldn’t share with someone who you don’t have an emotionally intimate relationship with (mom, dad, sibling, other relative, husband, best friend etc). So you have to be careful to not let the relationship get too intimate without some understanding about what it’s all about – and personally I recommend that you have at least one married individual who is witness to that understanding. In other words, an Imam, one of your parents, etc should know that you two have agreed that this is relationship that you are investing time and energy in with the purpose of hoping it goes somewhere like marriage.
It sounds very much like there was no such understanding and that you were interested in him but that there is no indication that he was interested in you. Deleting his account and then not friend requesting you once he was (back) on Facebook is a pretty clear message that he likely doesn’t want contact with you.
So if you are asking what’s healthy, spending time on his Facebook page might help you feel happy that he’s doing well walhamdulillah, but it also feeds the feelings of attraction you have towards him. Since it looks like this potential relationship isn’t going anywhere, it’s better for you to get distance and let those feelings resolve themselves by not going on his page and checking up on him.
Allah (swt) knows best.
wa ‘alaykum salam
-Sr Fatima FM