Be-You-tiful

As I sat down to reflect the things that have happened in the last few
years of my life, everything felt blank. Sometimes I can’t even recall
everything that’s happened. The bad things feel like nightmares and the
good things feel like dreams. Nothing ever feels like reality. I’m trying
to grasp what’s real and what I simply made up using my mind. The mind can
be a very powerful thing. It can tear you down or it can help you rise to
new levels. My journey begins with just that. I was born with a hair loss
disease called Alopecia, and in my seventh grade year I lost all of my
hair. I thought my life was over. It really wasn’t, but the thoughts in my
mind kept racing. I hated every bone in my body. I wanted to look different
more than anything. If I could change things in my life, I would take the
chance. These negative thoughts dictated the way I lived. My hair condition
had gotten worse than it ever was before, I was bullied daily, and my
grades were at a new low. Life definitely wasn’t easy for me and the
negative emotions just made it worse. I wasn’t sure how to deal with all of
the self-anger and hatred within me. The bullying got very bad. I remember
people putting notes in my locker telling me to kill myself. I can even
name a couple of times where people attempted to pull off my wig. I began to
think everything was my fault. I noticed the portions of my meals shrunk.
At that time, I honestly didn’t care about my well-being. Sadness and
negativity was everything. The only thing I wanted was to change myself…
That’s when I realized something was wrong. God didn’t put me on this
planet to hate myself. I was wonderfully and beautifully created for a
reason. I decided to take everything that made me insecure and work magic.
I started going without my wig. No matter what insults I got, I decided I
didn’t care what others thought about me. I changed the way my mind work.
No longer did I strive to be someone else. I just strived to be better
versions of me. My life changed for the better once I changed my mind about
life. I thought all there was to life was being like someone else. Truth
is, everything you could ever need is within you. I started acknowledging
all the strength and courage I possessed. I started to pray to God and
acknowledged the connection I felt. I turned life around for the better and
told myself, I am beautiful. The main point of this is for me to say that
life honestly and truly does get better. This is coming from someone who
used to hate herself and everything around her. If you just acknowledge
everything that is at your fingertips, life is such a beautiful thing.
Never close your eyes. Keep them open, because the beauty of life and Gods
light is ALWAYS shining down on you!